Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Hocus Pocus - We're baaaack!!

Like magic, POOF! we're back!

We're not going to explain why we've been quiet these last few weeks, but we're back. Maybe we should say something vague to remind people of our narrative... Yeah that sounds good. We're not saying that we received any threats, but if we did we certainly have hired a bounty hunter to find the offenders and bring them to justice. And that's all we'll say about that. Just enough for you to assume something serious but not enough for anyone to accuse us of actually saying anything.

Quick updates:

No contract:The end is here! We thought we were watching The Walking Dead but it turns out that our contract expired and we are now living in the post-apocalyptic hellscape that we predicted. Oh wait... Nope, just still watching The Walking Dead. We thought last season was the finale? We're confused. Why are they still living in that prison?

Strike vote passed overwhelmingly: As much as we hate strikes (and unions really for that matter) we have to at least pretend that we are willing to act like a union and go on strike if necessary. Otherwise management wouldn't give us a big fat raise because they would see us a weak - which is their own fault for no understanding that the strongest unions never go on strike. In fact the less you strike the stronger you are!

Elections: Elections happened and AWDU candidates lost! High five! We are working on a process of endorsing candidates. So far we like Richard Blum and Janet Napolitano and we hope that they consider running. Their experience with large organizations would prove a strength. We are considering either forming a caucus called the Admin Caucus (which is what we've been pejoratively called) or maybe just continue pretending that we are unaffiliated so that we can maintain our moral high ground and don't sound condescending and partisan with our half-baked criticisms...

Superbowl ad - The union took out a huge loan for a superbowl ad showing homeless TAs shooting up heroin and selling crack to pay for books and food. Stay classy AWDU! But seriously why would you allow a rank and file member to speak to the levels of desperation and resourcefulness that we have to go to because of our poverty wages? We're all for a democratic union, but come-on, you can't just let anyone talk at bargaining! The Republican party did it right when they screened people for their town hall meetings in the primary. Then even worse this info went out to members in an e-mail! I mean sure, if this is what people are doing in oder to make ends meet than telling them that isn't news, you're just repeating what they already know. But I doubt its even true. You can't trust everything grad students say, I mean, I hear they do drugs.

Not funny. We don't find humor funny. The UAW twitter posted a "funny" image and we are offended that the union isn't super serious all the time. I mean, just because bargaining team members are working more than double the time they are getting paid for, and some are falling behind in school just to get as much organizing done as possible, doesn't mean that these same people have the RIGHT to try to diffuse their frustration with management through humor in their spare time. We think that all elected officials should be robots. Robots are cold and humorless, and can work for free 24 hours a day. Much better than our current leadership. Also did we mention that we hate laughter?


*We aren't going to mention Davis bargaining being canceled because we hate Davis. We heard all they do up there is joke around.




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